


The Group Chat

by masterfail



Series: Gay14 & Group Chat Mishaps [1]
Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Fluff without Plot, He's a Cute Little Fluff, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, JJParents 4 lyfe, Jeon Jungkook is a Little Shit, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Little Shit, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam Is a Little Shit, M/M, Some Plot, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, everyone is a little shit, except youngjae, kim yugyeom is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-03-31 00:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13963161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterfail/pseuds/masterfail
Summary: GOT7's train wreck of a  group chat... that leads (somehow) to BTS's equally bad group chat... then things get worse when Jackson makes a third chat with everyone in it.OrThe chat fic literally no one asked for, but I wrote it anyway.





	1. TRAITOROUS BITCHES

**10:57 p.m.**

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_Markiepooh_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_DancginQueen_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_lil’sunshine_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_NotYourFather™_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_GangsterMom™_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_TRAITOROUS BITCHES_ **

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : y did u guys kick me out of the gc

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : I think you know exactly why Jackson

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : well i dont so…

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : EXPLAIN YOURSELVES YOU TRAITORS

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : im not a traitor…. :(

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : sorry youngjae i dont mean u

 

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_TRAITOROUS BITCHES except youngjae_ **

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : :)

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : but i still demand a reason from the rest of u jerks

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Jacks do you seriously not know???

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : i dont .°(ಗдಗ。)°.

 

 _DancginQueen_ : lolololololololololololololol

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : lololololololololololololololololololol

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : …….

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : what??? ;;;;;;

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Jackson….

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Change all your passwords

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : huh?

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : y?????//???/?

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : i dont undrstnf

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : jb?

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : y do i need to chabge my psswrds??

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : mark????

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : gyeomie?/?

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : bam??//??

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : youngjae???????

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : hello???////

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : ?????/???//

 

 _Markiepooh_ : I think he just ran to bb and yg’s room

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : y?

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : Y IS YUGYEOM SCREAMING

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : OMG IS BAM OK

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : prolly cuz theyre the reason you were kicked

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : SRSLY WTH??

 

 _Markiepooh_ : ‘You’ spammed the gc with….

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Some… uh…

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : WELL DONT LEAVE ME IN SUSPENSE

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Inappropriate comments/photos

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : but i didnt??

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : we know that now

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : Bam and Gyeom prolly hacked your acc and did it together

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Which is why

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Change your passwords

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : Mark can i come to your room

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : their screams are giving me a headache

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : and theyre scaring Coco

 

 _Markiepooh_ : sure ❤️

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : thanks Mark❤️❤️

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : ໒( •́ ∧ •̀ )७

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : i wanna sleep in marks rm 2

 

 _Markiepooh_ : no

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ+)ﾟ｡

 

 **_GangsterMom™_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_Jackson Shut The Fuck Up Im Trying To Sleep_ **

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : ….

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : is no1 going to defend my honor?

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : mark?

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : youngjae??

  
_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : ಥ_ಥ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Case Of Confusion:  
> jFLAWLESSSS69 is Jackson  
> Markipooh is Mark  
> lil'sunshine is Youngjae  
> BaMiSaBiGbOy is Bambam  
> DancginQueen is Yugyeom  
> NotYourFather™ is Jaebum  
> GangsterMom™ is Jinyoung


	2. Jackson Shut The Fuck Up Im Trying To Sleep

**8:23 a.m.**

**_Jackson Shut The Fuck Up Im Trying To Sleep_ **

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : were out of milk 

 

_ DancginQueen _ : and cereal

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Did you fuckers actually eat all the Special K

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : eww no

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : that stuff is disgusting

 

_ DancginQueen _ : i want fruity pebbles

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : who would actually eat stuff for weight conscious moms and old men w/ alzheimer’s???????

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : I do

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : oh my god jinyoung

 

_ DancginQueen _ : y r u actually 40

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Fuck you

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : The Special K is mine

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Don’t

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Touch

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : ….

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : That was yours??

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : YES

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Oh...

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Oops

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : YOU ATE MY ONLY MORNING JOY??

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : That’s it

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : I’m filing for a divorce

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Relax Jinyoung

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : We can go get more later today

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : And there’s still plenty of coffee

 

_ Markiepooh _ : No there isn’t

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : What??

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I bought a new bag two days ago

 

_ Markiepooh _ : Yeah

 

_ Markiepooh _ : Then yug and bam got drunk

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : What does that have to do with coffee exactly?

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : sm1 may hve dared them 2 eat raw coffee grounds 

 

_ DancginQueen _ : yeah…

 

_ DancginQueen _ : it was disgusting

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : im still coughing up coffee grounds

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Who tf would do something stupid like that

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : stupid like what?

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : eat coffee grounds

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : or tellin sm1 else 2 eat coffee grounds

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Both

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : BOTH

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : :(

 

_ DancginQueen _ : :(

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : :(

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : …..

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : ……..

 

_ Markiepooh _ : ……

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : lololololol

 

_ DancginQueen _ : lololololololololol

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : lolololol

 

_ DancginQueen _ : uh…

 

_ DancginQueen _ : were out of tp too….

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : We should just go shopping today

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : If you wanna come along be in the car in five seconds or I’m leaving you

 

_ DancginQueen _ : hey can sm1 bring me smthn 2 wipe my ass w/

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : ……

 

_ DancginQueen _ : what?

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : dude

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : we all alredy left…

 

_ DancginQueen _ : …..

 

_ DancginQueen _ : fuck u

 

**_DancginQueen_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_I NEED TO WIPE MY ASS_ **

 

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_yugyeom thats disgusting_ **

 

**_DancginQueen_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_I DONT CARE U ASSHOLES LEFT ME_ **

 

**_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_this is fucking hilarious_ **

 

**_DancginQueen_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_FUCK OFF_ **

 

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_FUCK OFF bambam_ **

 

**_GangsterMom™_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_Shut The Hell Up_ **

 

___________________

 

“So how should we do this?” Jaebum yawned lazily.

 

“It’d be more effective for us to split into groups of two. I’ll take Mark and Bambam to find groceries for the next few weeks. You can take Jackson and Youngjae to get all the miscellaneous items we’ve run out of. Sound good?” Jinyoung grabbed a basket and proceeded to push it into the store. 

 

“Yeah no problem.” Jaebum flashed the other man a thumbs up before grabbing a basket of his own and heading the opposite direction of Jinyoung.

 

“How come we don’t get a say in who we get to go with?” Bambam complained.

 

“Because fuck you, that’s why.” Jinyoung retorted and threw a loaf of bread in the basket.

 

Mark trailed behind Jinyoung and Bambam, occasionally grabbing random packages of junk food to slip into the basket when Jinyoung wasn’t paying attention because he was too busy bickering with Bambam. When Jinyoung finally realized there were items in the basket that he did, in fact, not place there, he blamed the innocent Bambam, leaving Mark to giggle silently at the chaos he unintentionally created.

 

Meanwhile, Jaebum’s hands were full trying to keep Youngjae sated with attention and keep Jackson nearish to his line of sight.

 

“JB, JB, hey, do you think I’d look better in this dress than Jinyoung?” Jackson held up a pink sundress with white flowers patterned across the fabric and laughed when the older man rolled his eyes.

 

“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.” The man sighed.

 

“Nevermind, I should’ve known better than to ask you. You’re so whipped you’ll say he looks good in anything he puts on.” Jackson mocked him.

 

“I resent everything you stand for.” Jaebum replied in monotone.

 

“Hyung can we get this mug for Bam? It looks just like him.” The boy giggled and held up a bright pink mug shaped like a squirrel.

 

Jaebum grimaced. As much as he hated to admit it, the mug did resemble the younger boy quite a bit. “No, sorry Youngjae we can’t.”

 

Youngjae frowned and put the mug back on the shelf reluctantly. Jaebum pushed his cart to the next isle to restock the depleted paper plate stores. It wasn’t until he collected everything they needed at the dorm (toilet paper, paper plates, bandaids, dish soap, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, hair wax, etc.) that Jaebum realized that Jackson was no longer pestering him.

 

___________________

 

**9:47 a.m.**

**_Shut The Hell Up_ **

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Jackson where the hell did you go

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I look away for ten seconds and he’s already gone

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : im in the toy section

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Wtf??

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Why are you there????

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : i nvr thought i wld want a barbie dream house so badly

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Whatever

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I’m on my way

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : where are you at hyung?

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Wtf Youngjae did you get lost too??

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : you didn’t notice??

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : :(

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : No no no it’s not that I didn’t notice

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : It’s just that I

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Shit

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Jaebum

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Did you fucking lose my children

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : …..

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : lololololololol

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : mark said jinyoungs gonna beat ur ass hyung

 

**_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_jb is a bad dad_ **

 

_ DancginQueen _ : my legs are numb

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Sorry my phone’s dying gtg

 

___________________

 

Jaebum frantically exited the group chat to text Youngjae privately.

 

___________________

 

**10:06 a.m.**

**_NotYourFather™, lil’sunshine_ **

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Please tell me where you are

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Jinyoung might actually kill me this time

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : So please just 

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Where are you?

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I’ll come to you and everything will be okay I swear

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Youngjae??

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Hello?

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : oh

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : sorry hyung

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : i didn’t notice you were texting me

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Okay that’s fair

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I’m really sorry about that

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Just tell me where you are so I can come get you

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : ….

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Please…

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : im with jackson

  
_ NotYourFather™ _ : ……...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Case Of Confusion:  
> jFLAWLESSSS69 is Jackson  
> Markipooh is Mark  
> lil'sunshine is Youngjae  
> BaMiSaBiGbOy is Bambam  
> DancginQueen is Yugyeom  
> NotYourFather™ is Jaebum  
> GangsterMom™ is Jinyoung


	3. jb is a bad dad

**_5:04 p.m._ **

**_jb is a bad dad_ **

 

_Markiepooh_ : hey has any1 seen my phone?

 

_Markiepooh_ : this is jackson btw

 

_NotYourFather™_ : No

 

_lil’sunshine_ : no

 

_GangsterMom™_ : No

 

_Markiepooh_ : damn

 

_GangsterMom™_ : Have you tried calling it

 

_Markiepooh_ : of course i did

 

_Markiepooh_ : i think i left it on vibr8

 

_GangsterMom™_ : Where did you have it last

 

_Markiepooh_ : OH RIGHT

 

_Markiepooh_ : I WAS PLAYIN FORTNITE W/ BAMBAM

 

_NotYourFather™_ : So go check the couch

 

_Markiepooh_ : no we werent in the livinrm

 

_NotYourFather™_ : ??

 

_NotYourFather™_ : Then how were you playing Fortnite???

 

_Markiepooh_ : ……..

 

_Markiepooh_ : ummmm

 

_NotYourFather™_ : Jackson

 

_NotYourFather™_ : Tell me now

 

_lil’sunshine_ : Bambam and Yugyeom moved the ps4 to their room last night

 

_GangsterMom™_ : Why would they do that??

 

_lil’sunshine_ : ummmm

 

_Markiepooh_ : ……..

 

_Markiepooh_ : netflix

 

_NotYourFather™_ : You’ve got to be fucking kidding me

 

_Markiepooh_ : lolololololol

 

_Markiepooh_ : OHMYGOD

 

_Markiepooh_ : EWWWWWWWWWW

 

_Markiepooh_ : GROSS

 

_Markiepooh_ : NO

 

_Markiepooh_ : NONONONONONONO

 

_Markiepooh_ : NONO

 

_Markiepooh_ : NO

 

_GangsterMom™_ : What is it now Jackson?

 

_Markiepooh_ : I NEED BLEACH TO CLEANSE MY EYEBALLS

 

_Markiepooh_ : AND A BIBLE TO CLEANSE MY SOUL

 

_Markiepooh_ : MOSTLY JUST THE BLEACH THOUGH

 

_GangsterMom™_ : I’m not giving you bleach

 

_GangsterMom™_ : Just tell us what happened already

 

_Markiepooh_ : He saw yug and bam

 

_Markiepooh_ : Uh…

 

_Markiepooh_ : Doin it

 

_Markiepooh_ : This is mark btw

 

_NotYourFather™_ : What?

 

_NotYourFather™_ : Where’d Jackson go?

 

_Markiepooh_ : I locked him in the closet so he would stop trying to strangle himself with my bed sheets

 

_lil’sunshine_ : are you sure thats the safest place to put him?

 

_Markiepooh_ : Nope

 

_Markiepooh_ : I just didn’t want him killing himself where i sleep

 

_NotYourFather™_ : …….

 

_GangsterMom™_ : ………..

 

_lil’sunshine_ : ….

 

_Markiepooh_ : What?

 

_NotYourFather™_ : Aren’t you like

 

_NotYourFather™_ : In love with him…?

 

_Markiepooh_ : Yeah and?

 

_GangsterMom™_ : Shouldn’t you maybe stop him from commiting suicide?????

 

_Markiepooh_ : Meh

 

_lil’sunshine_ : hyung….

 

_lil’sunshine_ : thats brutal

 

_Markiepooh_ : He said he was better at mario kart than me

 

_Markiepooh_ : He deserves it for blasphemy

 

_GangsterMom™_ : ….

 

_lil’sunshine_ : ………..

 

_NotYourFather™_ : ……

 

**_GangsterMom™_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_This Is Not How I Raised You_ **

 

___________________

 

**8:37 p.m.**

**_This Is Not How I Raised You_ **

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : can..

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : can i get a new phone

 

_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : whats the matter w/ that 1

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : this 1s been tainted

 

_DancginQueen_ : what do u mean ‘tainted’

 

_DancginQueen_ : its ur fault for leavin it in there in the 1st place

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : can i pls just get a new phone

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : everytime i look at this 1 i get war flshbcks

 

_lil’sunshine_ : to 3 hours ago??

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : yes

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : it was a very tramatic experience

 

_GangsterMom™_ : traumatic*

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : …..

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : i just want an untainted phone pls

 

_NotYourFather™_ : Ask Jinyoung

 

_GangsterMom™_ : Ask Jaebum

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : …..

 

_DancginQueen_ : aaawwweee

 

_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : its disgusting how in sync u 2 r

 

_Markiepooh_ : Its disgusting how you two fuck each other at five in the afternoon

 

_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : …..

 

_DancginQueen_ : ……

 

_DancginQueen_ : ur 1 2 judge

 

_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : yeah

 

_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : u only talk so u cna flirt w/ jackson

 

_GangsterMom™_ : Can*

 

_DancginQueen_ : not helping hyung

 

_GangsterMom™_ : Oh

 

_GangsterMom™_ : You want my help

 

_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : yes pls

 

_GangsterMom™_ : 

 

_DancginQueen_ : wtf

 

_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : thats u and jb

 

_GangsterMom™_ : Whoops

 

_GangsterMom™_ : Wrong folder

 

_NotYourFather™_ : ……………………..

 

_lil’sunshine_ : lol

 

_GangsterMom™_ : 

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : awwwee

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : were so cute mark❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

 

_Markiepooh_ : ……..

 

_Markiepooh_ : ❤

 

_lil’sunshine_ : you two are adorable

 

_GangsterMom™_ : Oh

 

_GangsterMom™_ : I have more

 

_GangsterMom™_ : 

 

_GangsterMom™_ : 

 

_GangsterMom™_ : 

 

_GangsterMom™_ : 

 

_GangsterMom™_ : 

 

_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : see

 

_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : now thats gross

 

_DancginQueen_ : i bet u 2 havent even done anythin yet

 

_DancginQueen_ : just flirtin like awkward teenagers

 

_Markiepooh_ : You dont know that

 

_lil’sunshine_ : .O.

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : mark….

 

_jFLAWLESSSS69_ : we agreed not to say anything

 

_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : woah

 

_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : what

 

_DancginQueen_ : u mean….

 

_DancginQueen_ : u actually…..

 

_Markiepooh_ : Yup

 

**_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_marks gettin it_ **

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : ....

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : ok…

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : so…

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : who was top?

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Okay this conversation’s over

 

_ DancginQueen _ : but hyung

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I said it’s over

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Go to bed

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Right now

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : but its only 9:12

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : ….

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Just go to sleep Youngjae….

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : :(

 

**_NotYourFather™_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_iGot4 Bad Kids & Youngjae_ ** **__**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Case Of Confusion:  
> jFLAWLESSSS69 is Jackson  
> Markipooh is Mark  
> lil'sunshine is Youngjae  
> BaMiSaBiGbOy is Bambam  
> DancginQueen is Yugyeom  
> NotYourFather™ is Jaebum  
> GangsterMom™ is Jinyoung


	4. iGot4 Bad Kids & Youngjae

**11:43 a.m.**

**_iGot4 Bad Kids & Youngjae_ **

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Family dinner tonight at 6

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : All of you assholes better be ready and at the table

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : ok

 

 _DancginQueen_ : but me and bam were gonna go bowling w/ the bts boys

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : yeah

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : i was looking forward to kicking jks ass

 

 _DancginQueen_ : what do u have against kookie :(

 

 _DancginQueen_ : hes rlly cool

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : idk yugyeom

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : y dont u tell me whats going on between u and ‘kookie’

 

 _DancginQueen_ : what???

 

 _DancginQueen_ : were just friends bam

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : uh-huh

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : sure u r

 

 _DancginQueen_ : hes literally fucking tae

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : can u guys not have ur lovers quarell on the gc

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Quarrel*

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : is that rlly important rn

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Yes.

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : …

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Mark Jaebum you guys see this?

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Yes dear

 

 _Markiepooh_ :Yeah

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Good then we’re all clear on dinner plans

 

 _DancginQueen_ : i dont like that u r making me cancle plans ive had for weeks

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Cancel*

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : And you can suck it up

 

 _DancginQueen_ : :(

 

 **_GangsterMom™_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_Dinner At 6_ **

 

___________________

 

Yugyeom begrudgingly went to message his best friend that he would no longer be able to go bowling.

 

___________________

 

**12:13 p.m.**

**_DancginQueen, goldenboiiiii_ **

 

 _DancginQueen_ : hey kookie

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : sup gyeom

 

 _DancginQueen_ : i dont think i can go bowling today after all

 

 _DancginQueen_ : :(

 

 _DancginQueen_ : sorry

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : o?

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : smthin happen??

 

 _DancginQueen_ : yeah

 

 _DancginQueen_ : jinyoung called an emergency family meeting

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : ooh

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : sounds rough

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : have fun w/ that bro

 

 _DancginQueen_ : thanks bro

 

___________________

 

Jungkook sighed as he read over the messages once more. He was really looking forward to bowling with Yugyeom and Bambam, even if Bambam glared at him everytime he breathed near Yugyeom. He could deal with it though. The problem would be breaking the news to Taehyung, who was really excited to show off his improved bowling skills to everyone. Deciding it would be best to break the news quickly, Jungkook sent a message to his boyfriend.

 

___________________

 

**12:28 p.m.**

**_goldenboiiiii, heLLoseawEEd_ **

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : tae

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : baby

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : im sorry, but we cant go bowling w/ yugbam tonite

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : :(

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : y not tho

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : jinyoung apparently called an emergency meeting tonight

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : oh

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : ok

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : r u upset?

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : :(

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : tae

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : yeah

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : i love you

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : :)

 

___________________

 

**12:37 p.m.**

**_Bangtan BITCHEZZZZZZZ_ **

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : yo guys check this out

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : [ https://youtu.be/7oiZ1hAJ6Qc ](https://youtu.be/7oiZ1hAJ6Qc)

 

 _chimchibi_ : no :(

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : nope

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Hoseok istg

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : wat?

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : y not tho??

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : ….

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : Literally the last time you sent a video in the group chat Tae, Jimin, and Jin all had nightmares for a week

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : And so did you

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : u have no idea how hard it is to calm tae down when hes woken up from a nightmare

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : :(

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : srry ❤

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : i started that convo w/ ‘bambams a snake 4 sendn me this vid’

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : then i said ‘dont watch it’

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : its not my fault u didnt listen 2 me

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : you send a ling in the gc

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : and then expect us not to wathc it???

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : watch*

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : whn i say ‘dont watch it’

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : yes i expect u not to watch it

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : …….

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : …………..

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : ……..

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Ur grounded

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : :(

 

 **_Not.A.Horse_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_im grounded cuz bams a snake :(_ **

 

 **_FoodIsLife_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_Dont change the gc name when ur grounded_ **

 

 **_Not.A.Horse_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_wtf im a grown ass man_ **

 

 **_Not.A.Horse_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_i can do whatever i want_ **

 

 **_Not.A.Horse_ ** _changed the chat name to_   **_https://youtu.be/7oiZ1hAJ6Qc_ **

 

 **_whatisL.I.F.E_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_no u cant_ **

 

 **_whatisL.I.F.E_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_Bangtan BITCHEZZZZZZZ_ **

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : i hate all of you

 

 _chimchibi_ : :(

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : except jimin

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : ❤

 

_ chimchibi _ : ❤

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Case Of Confusion:  
> jFLAWLESSSS69 is Jackson  
> Markipooh is Mark  
> lil'sunshine is Youngjae  
> BaMiSaBiGbOy is Bambam  
> DancginQueen is Yugyeom  
> NotYourFather™ is Jaebum  
> GangsterMom™ is Jinyoung  
> goldenboiiiii is Jungkook  
> heLLoseawEED is Taehyung  
> bringmesleep™ is Yoongi  
> chimchibi is Jimin  
> whatisL.I.F.E is Namjoon  
> FoodIsLife is Jin  
> Not.A.Horse is Hoseok


	5. Bangtan BITCHEZZZZZZZ

**4:21 p.m.**

**_Bangtan BITCHEZZZZZZZ_ **

 

_ chimchibi _ : ok so i just got a call from Jackson

 

_ chimchibi _ : apparently he, bam, and yugyeom got arrested

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : what the fuck

 

_ whatisL.I.F.E _ : …….

 

_ chimchibi _ : he didnt go into details but he did mention something about a goose then told me to call Jaebum cause he misdialed the number and called me by mistake

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : y a goose?????

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : y not a goose

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : do u know where they r?

 

_ chimchibi _ : yeah

 

_ chimchibi _ : he told me when he thought i was Jaebum

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : wanna go 2 the police station and make fun of them?

 

_ chimchibi _ : sure

 

_ chimchibi _ : why not

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : hell yes

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : im down

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : whooo!

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : road trip!

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : ……….

 

_ whatisL.I.F.E _ : ……..

 

_ whatisL.I.F.E _ : Yes

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : NAMJOON

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : WTH

 

_ whatisL.I.F.E _ : What?

 

_ whatisL.I.F.E _ : Am I not allowed to have fun?

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : lololololololololololololol

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : so thats every1 but jin?

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : ……..

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : If jinyoung finds out ur all dead

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : when r we leaving??

 

_ chimchibi _ : right now would probably be best

 

_ chimchibi _ : i texted the group chat as soon as i got off the phone with Jaebum

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : YEET

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : LETS GO

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : JB DRIVES LIKE A PSYCHO

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : how the fuck do you know that?

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : remember that time u all left me in that haunted house?

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : no

 

_ chimchibi _ : nope

 

_ whatisL.I.F.E _ : I don’t recall

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : What????????

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : i dont think that ever happened

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : trust me it happened

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : assholes

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : anyway

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : it just so happened that got7 went to the same place the same day

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : long story short they took me home and jb was driving

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : istg i almost died like 4 times

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ :  but like no one else in the truck noticed he was driving so crazy?????

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : probably cause theyre used to it

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : whatever

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : who cares

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : lets just leave before we miss the show

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : i got shotgun

 

**_FoodIsLife_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_Ur all going 2 die 2night_ **

 

**_whatisL.I.F.E_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_Bangtan BITCHEZZZZZZZ_ **

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : Joon istg

 

**_FoodIsLife_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_Ur all going 2 die 2night_ **

 

___________________

 

The six boys made it to the police station where Jackson, Bambam, and Yugyeom were being held. For some reason, Yugyeom and Bambam were soaking wet.

 

Jungkook, Taehyung, and Hoseok immediately pulled out their phones to film the interrogation process. Jungkook was going to use it for blackmail. Taehyung was going to keep it and only watch it when he needed to laugh. Hoseok… put it on snapchat…. and twitter…. and instagram.

 

Luckily, it seemed that Jaebum had gotten there only moments before the six of them, and Jackson was smart enough to refuse to speak until his guardian had arrived.

 

“Okay, since Mr. Im Jaebum had arrived, shall we begin?” A short, stout police officer cleared his throat before folding his hands together and leaning slightly forward toward the three boys. “What, exactly were you doing at that pond?”

 

All three boys tried speaking at once, shouting and pointing fingers at each other. Jaebum smacked all of them in the back of the head. “Hey! One at a time. Yugyeom, you first.”

 

Yugyeom rubbed the back of his head as he turned to face the officer. “We were trying to catch a goose.”

 

“A goose.” The officer was dumbfounded. “Why were you trying to catch a goose?”

 

Bambam spoke up this time. “So we could put it in the shopping cart.”

 

The officer blinked repeatedly, furrowed his eyebrows together, and tried to formulate his next question, but he couldn’t get his brain to wrap around the fact three fully sober grown men were trying to put a goose in a shopping cart. When he finally regained his composure, it was already too late. Jackson had started speaking.

 

“You see, we went to Walmart to pick up some light bulbs and we saw a kid riding in a shopping cart and Bam said ‘it not fair that Jinyoung won’t let us do that cause we’re ‘too old’,’ so Yugyeom said ‘Jinyoung’s not here though,’ then we started pushing each other in the cart, but we got kicked out when I accidentally rammed Bambam into the ball cage thingy an-”

 

“Woah woah woah. Stop. Who’s Bambam?” The police officer asked.

 

“I am.”

 

“He is. Keep up. So Gyeomie stole the shopping cart-”

 

“You stole a shopping cart?” Jaebum interrupted this time.

 

“It was on impulse!” Yugyeom defended himself.

 

“I have to pay for that now! What the hell good is ‘impulse’ if it gets you arrested?” Jaebum shouted at him.

 

“For the vine!” Yugyeom shouted back.

 

“Vine is dead asshole! You-”

 

“Hey!” The officer stood up and abruptly slammed his hands down on the table. Jaebum and Yugyeom stopped arguing. Bambam jumped a bit. Jackson screamed and fell out of his chair. Hoseok yelped quietly in the background and dropped his phone. “Let him finish speaking.” The man sat back down and watched as Bambam helped Jackson back into his chair.

 

“Okay, um, where was I?” Jackson cleared his throat.

 

“The stolen shopping cart.” The officer answered with a sigh.

 

“Oh right! Yugyeom stole the cart cause he wanted revenge on Walmart I guess-”

 

“No, I stole it cause I was already kicked out of the store there was nothing they could do to stop me.”

 

Four pairs of eyes glared at Yugyeom before Jackson continued. “Anyway, while we were on our way home we stopped at a cafe to get some snacks and Bambam ordered a chocolate mousse parfait-”

 

“What does this have to do with-”

 

“I’m getting there! So, Bam ordered mousse and the cashier misheard him cause of his accent and thought he said ‘goose’, so she said ‘I’m sorry sir, we don’t serve geese here, but if you would like to see some, they live in the pond in the park down the road,’ then Yugyeom cleared up the misunderstanding cause when I tried, she didn’t understand me either. I think she’s just deaf, cause my Korean is pretty good for a foreigner-”

 

“Hey, so is mine!” Bambam tried to defend himself.

 

“You have a lisp.” Jackson shrugged him off.

 

“Wha-? I do not!”

 

“Yeah you do.” Yugyeom threw his boyfriend under the proverbial bus.

 

“It’s slight, but it’s there.” Jaebum agreed.

 

Even the police officer nodded and held up his forefinger and thumb. “A little bit.”

 

Bambam then proceeded to mutter curses in Thai under his breath.

 

“So anyway, after we ate our snacks, we were all kind of on a sugar high and Bambam suggested going to see the geese. When we got there, we were playing around on the sidewalk taking turns to see who could push who farthest in the basket, I won by the way, when  goose came close to where we were. Yugyeom though it would be a good idea to catch it and put it in the basket to see who could push the goose the farthest, but geese are faster-”

 

“And scarier.” Bambam chimed in.

 

“Than we thought.” Jackson finished.

 

“I got bit.” Yugyeom pouted and held up his hand.

 

“No you didn’t, you got pecked. If you were bit, you’d be bleeding. Geese have teeth.” Jackson brushed him off.

 

“No they don’t.” Jaebum corrected him.

 

“Uh, yes they do. I saw with my own two eyes.” Jackson refuted him.

 

“Jackson, geese don’t have teeth…” Yugyeom stared at the older man.

 

“Yeah they do. Hold on.” Jackson swiveled around in his chair to face the back of the room where the six BTS boys were. “NAMJOON!” He shouted.

 

“WHAT?” The man responded. 

 

“DO GEESE HAVE TEETH?”

 

“NO!”

 

“THEN WHAT DID I SEE?”

 

“THEY HAVE JAGGED EDGES ON THE INSIDE OF THEIR MOUTHS THAT LOOK LIKE TEETH!”

 

Jackson swiveled back to face the police officer. “It seems I was mistaken. Geese do not have teeth.”

 

“Okay, but why are you two wet?” Jaebum asked Bambam and Yugyeom.

 

“I fell in the pond running away from the goose.” Bambam answered.

 

“He dragged me in when I tried to help him out.” Yugyeom glared at his boyfriend.

 

“I said sorry.” Bambam mumbled meekly.

 

___________________

 

**5:58 p.m.**

**_Dinner At 6_ **

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Why is it that only Youngjae and Mark are at the table?

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Hello?

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Bambam?

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Yugyeom?

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : I swear if you two are fucking again

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Jackson??

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Jaebum I expected more from you

 

**_GangsterMom™_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_Im Locking The Door_ **

___________________

 

At exactly six o'clock, the four boys walked into the dorm silently and past Jinyoung, who was standing in the entryway dumbfounded. (Yugyeom and Bambam were wearing new, dry clothes so as not to raise any suspicion.) Jackson made his way to the table to sit next to Mark, slinging an arm around his shoulder and plating a kiss on his temple.

 

“Hey babe, sorry we’re late. Ran into some traffic.” Jaebum gave Jinyoung a kiss on the cheek and went to sit at the table too, leaving Jinyoung alone, wondering what the fuck just happened.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Case Of Confusion:  
> jFLAWLESSSS69 is Jackson  
> Markipooh is Mark  
> lil'sunshine is Youngjae  
> BaMiSaBiGbOy is Bambam  
> DancginQueen is Yugyeom  
> NotYourFather™ is Jaebum  
> GangsterMom™ is Jinyoung  
> goldenboiiiii is Jungkook  
> heLLoseawEED is Taehyung  
> bringmesleep™ is Yoongi  
> chimchibi is Jimin  
> whatisL.I.F.E is Namjoon  
> FoodIsLife is Jin  
> Not.A.Horse is Hoseok


	6. Im Locking The Door

**6:12 a.m.**

**_Im Locking The Door_ **

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Jaebum

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Your fucking cat just put a fucking dead bird on the kitchen counter

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Right in front of me

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : While I was eating

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Awwe ❤

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : That means she likes you babe

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : The fuck?

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : No

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : It means I locked her ass outside

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : What?

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : No!

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Nora’s too pretty to be outside for too long

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : The tom cats will come and try to take advantage of my princess

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : …….

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : I’m literally so done with you

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Awe don’t worry babe

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : You’re still my prince ❤

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : But seriously put my baby back inside

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : No

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Fuck you

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : I had cereal in my nose after she pulled that shit

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : You want her inside you do it yourself

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : I actually can’t

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : I’m in the shower

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Is that an invitation?

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : It might be...

 

 _Markiepooh_ : its literally 2 fucking early 4 this shit

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : ……

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : …….

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Jackson?

 

 _Markiepooh_ : duh

 

 _Markiepooh_ : who tf else wld it be?

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Well…

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Mark for one

 

 _Markiepooh_ : nah

 

 _Markiepooh_ : he wldnt wake up if a fucking earthquake hit

 

 _Markiepooh_ : y wld u think its markie

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Maybe because you’re using his phone

 

 _Markiepooh_ : ……..

 

 _Markiepooh_ : fcuk

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Fuck*

 

 _Markiepooh_ : I mustve grbbed his phone by mistake

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Are you in Mark’s room right now?

 

 _Markiepooh_ : yeah y

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : And what conversation did we have after you walked in on Gyeom and Bam fucking?

 

 _Markiepooh_ : ……..

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : …….

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : ……..

 

 _Markiepooh_ : fuck u

 

 **_Markiepooh_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_jbs a fcukin snake_ **

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Fuckin*

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : You act like you and jinyoung dont eye fuck every ten minutes

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : No one wants to see that shit

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : At least we don’t do it when everyone else is around

 

 _DancginQueen_ : y u gotta @ me like that bro

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : You literally just asked jb if he wanted to shower with you

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : On the group chat

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : For everyone to see

 

 _DancginQueen_ : …….

 

 _DancginQueen_ : y am i awake

 

 _Markiepooh_ : cuz noras a straight savage

 

 _DancginQueen_ : jacks do u have marks phone??

 

 _Markiepooh_ : yes weve been over this alrdy

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : Dude just read all the messages you missed

 

 _DancginQueen_ : but thats so much :(

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : ……..

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : …………

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : ………

 

 _Markiepooh_ : y r u like this

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : i wake up early to walk Coco and this is what i see…….

 

 _Markiepooh_ : ...........

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : …….

 

 _DancginQueen_ : ……..

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : ………

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : ……..

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Sorry Youngjae

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : this is literally better than the time i sent u all rubber johnny

 

 **_NotYourFather_ ** **_™_ ** _kicked_ **_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _from the chat_

 

 **_DancginQueen_ ** _added_ **_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _to the chat_

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : bicth u thought

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Bitch*

 

___________________

 

**8:53 a.m.**

**_Not.A.Horse, lil’sunshine_ **

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : hey me tae jimin and kookie r going shopping today

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : u wanna come along

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : sure :)

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : great (＾▽＾)

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : uhh…

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : Yugyeom and Bambam saw my phone and now they wanna come along

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : is that ok?

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : yeah sure np

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : ok :)

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : ill pick u guys up at 10

 

___________________

 

“Why are all three of you dressed up?” Jackson asked as he turned on the PS4, which had been promptly removed from Yugyeom and Bambam’s room after what has since come to be known as ‘Jackson’s phone incident’. “Going somewhere?”

 

“Yeah, Hobi invited me, Bam, and Gyeomie to go shopping with him and the others today.” Youngjae answered happily as he finished tying his shoes.

 

“Oh? Who all’s going?”

 

“Other than the four of us, Tae, Kookie and Jimin. That’s all I think.” Yugyeom answered.

 

“Oh, okay.”

 

“Do you wanna go too Jacks?” Youngjae asked. “I can see if that’s okay with Hobi…”

 

“No no. I’m fine. You three have fun and, Youngjae, can you make sure Gyeomie and Bam stay away from that park down the road from Spring Day Cafe.” Jackson smiled as the three boys left the dorm.

 

“Not fair, you’re banned too you know!” Bambam shouted back before he closed the door.

 

Jackson, instead of playing Fortnite as he originally intended, decided to pull out his phone to send a message.

 

___________________

 

10:15 a.m.

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_Markiepooh_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_whatisL.I.F.E_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_FoodIsLife_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_bringmesleep™_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_NotYourFather™_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _added_ **_GangsterMom™_ ** _to the chat_

 **_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_the true homies_ **

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : so the maknes and hobi ditched us to go shopping

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : we should do something together so they feel left out too

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : …..

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : Jackson….

 

 _Markiepooh_ : What the hell are you talking about

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : we should go skating

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : skating is fun

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : ooh or a trampoline park

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : why am i here

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : I wonder the same thing all the time

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : or karoke

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : karoke is always a solid choice

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Karaoke*

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : or we could not

 

 _Markiepooh_ : That is a great idea

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : we can eat pizza

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Nevermind

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Ill do whatever you want

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : i had faith in you mark

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Sorry bro

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Pizza

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Well i think its a great idea

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : It make for some great family bonding time

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : …..

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : If we’re doing anything

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : My vote goes to the trampoline park

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Skating

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Trampoline

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : I like skating more

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : I vote trampoline

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Why cant we just go on a picnic?

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : trampoline park it is

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : yoongi u comin?

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : fuck it

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : i dont care anymore

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : great

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : lets go o(*>ω<*)o

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : I’ll drive

 

 _bringmesleep™_ : ……….

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : ………..

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : ……

  
_NotYourFather™_ : What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Case Of Confusion:  
> jFLAWLESSSS69 is Jackson  
> Markipooh is Mark  
> lil'sunshine is Youngjae  
> BaMiSaBiGbOy is Bambam  
> DancginQueen is Yugyeom  
> NotYourFather™ is Jaebum  
> GangsterMom™ is Jinyoung  
> goldenboiiiii is Jungkook  
> heLLoseawEED is Taehyung  
> bringmesleep™ is Yoongi  
> chimchibi is Jimin  
> whatisL.I.F.E is Namjoon  
> FoodIsLife is Jin  
> Not.A.Horse is Hoseok


	7. where tf is tae

**11:43 a.m.**

**_goldenboiiiii_ ** _added_ **_heLLoseawEEd_ ** _to the chat_

 **_goldenboiiiii_ ** _added_ **_DancginQueen_ ** _to the chat_

 **_goldenboiiiii_ ** _added_ **_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _to the chat_

 **_goldenboiiiii_ ** _added_ **_Not.A.Horse_ ** _to the chat_

 **_goldenboiiiii_ ** _added_ **_lil’sunshine_ ** _to the chat_

 **_goldenboiiiii_ ** _added_ **_chimchibi_ ** _to the chat_

 **_goldenboiiiii_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_where tf is tae_ **

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : babe where did u go

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : weve all been lookin 4 u 4 like 10 min

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : im @ the fountain

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : oh u makin a wish??

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : no

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : i dropped my wallet in

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : ……..

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : ……

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : ……

 

 _DancginQueen_ : …….

 

 _chimchibi_ : …….

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : babe pls dont tell me ur swimmin 4 it rn

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : …..

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : is that not allowed?

 

 _DancginQueen_ : ……

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : ……...

 

 _chimchibi_ : …….

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : ...

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : ………...

 

 **_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_were gonna get kicked out of the mall_ **

 

 **_lil’sunshine_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_think positive :)_ **

 

 **_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_no fcuk u if i cant buy gucci sweaters my life is over_ **

 

 **_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_GUCCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII_ **

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : were on our way to u

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : just dont be seen alright

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : u can change into the dry clothes we bought

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : ok :)

 

 _goldenboiiiii_ : did u find ur wallet babe?

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : no :(

 

 _DancginQueen_ : r u sure u dropped it in the fountain?

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : idk

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : i think so

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : oh nvm

 

 _heLLoseawEEd_ : i left it in my pocket

 

 _lil’sunshine_ : ….

 

 _chimchibi_ : ……..

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : …..

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : …

 

 _DancginQueen_ : ………..

 

___________________

 

“I really think skating would have been the better choice.” Jinyoung repeated himself for what seemed like the five hundredth time.

 

“Well we voted and majority rules so go complain about democracy elsewhere.” Jackson responded, fed up with the other man’s shit.

 

“I regret my existence.” Yoongi sighed from the back seat.

 

Jaebum slowly turned up the radio so he wouldn’t be subjected to the torture of having so many grown children in the vehicle at the same time. Unluckily, it only made things worse.

 

As soon as the first notes of the song played through the speakers, Jackson started screaming. And so did Mark. And Namjoon. And even Jin.

 

“WooooooOOOooOOOOoooooooOOOOoOoooOooooah!”

 

Jinyoung seamlessly joined in the effort to drive his boyfriend to madness by becoming Taeyang. “I awake with the black night everyone come in whose turn is it next it’s unpredictable CRAZY GUERILLA bow down in worship till your voice explodes!”

 

Jackson shout rapped the next verse, his deep voice matching well with T.O.P.’s. “Switch up this loser atmosphere so they can’t hide this insanity the dignity of men, the pretense of women it’s interesting to see this kind of unknown confidence AS IF IM SHOWING OFF I SHAMELESSLY DIG INTO YOUR BODY LIKE AN ALLERGY swarming around in a strange mind today this place is LAWLESS!”

 

Jin and Namjoon sang Seungri’s verse together like the obnoxious couple they are. “I’ll set this place on fire to burn up your heart I wanna make you go crazy B.I.G YEAH WE BANG LIKE THIS EVERYONE TOGETHER!”

 

Mark screamed the next line, sounding surprisingly similar to G.D. himself. “LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SHOT!”

 

Then suddenly everyone was singing together, even Yoongi and Jaebum. “BANG BANG BANG!”

 

The fun, however, was brought to an abrupt end with the sound of police sirens nearby. “Shit.” Jaebum muttered and pulled over the vehicle on the side of the road. He turned off the radio and made sure Jackson had his seatbelt on (he had never been one to be fond of being restrained.)

 

The officer made his was to the driver seat and Jaebum rolled down the window to see a familiar face. “Oh hyung!” Jaebum grinned and waved to the short stout officer that arrested Jackson, Yugyeom and Bambam before.

 

“JB!” The officer laughed at the coincidence. “How’ve you been? Is Jackson back there too?”

 

“I’m here too hyung!” Jackson shouted from the back.

 

“Hey Jackson! Where’s Bambam and Yugyeom?”

 

“They ditched us for Gucci.” Jackson pouted

 

The officer chuckled and turned back to Jaebum. “Look, do you know how fast you were going?”

 

Jaebum smiled sheepishly and shook his head. “Sorry, but I don’t know.”

 

The officer sighed. “Should’ve guessed you’d say that. You were doing about seventy, and this is a fifty-five zone.”

 

“Oh. Sorry about that hyung…” Jaebum chuckled nervously. “How much is the ticket?”

 

“Ticket? Oh no, you don’t have to worry about anything like that. I’ll just let you off with a warning.” He chuckled. “Just drive safe boys… Wait, you aren’t headed to the park… are you?”

 

“Oh no no no no. We’re going to Urban Air. Staying far away from parks and ponds alike.”

 

“Good. ‘Cause if you were headed there… I might have to arrest you again.” He joked, leaving Jaebum and Jackson to both grimace, sensing death looming before them. “Well, I best be heading off. I’ll see you boys around.” The officer waved before getting back into his car and driving off.

 

The silence in the packed vehicle was deafening. Yoongi pulled out his phone to film, knowing that Jimin and Hobi would be begging him to spill the tea later. Mark pulled out his phone to film too, though just so he could hold it over his boyfriend’s head that he got his ass beat by Jinyoung. Jaebum slowly turned to face his boyfriend who was shooting him a glare that could kill any ordinary person. “Arrested?” He started. Jaebum gulped audibly. “You got arrested?”

 

“IT WAS JACKSON NOT ME I SWEAR!” Jaebum was quick to throw his best friend under the bus.

 

“YOU SELL OUT!” Jackson was quick to shout back. “IT WAS ALL YUGYEOM’S IDEA! I WAS JUST ROPED INTO IT!”

 

Mark covered his mouth so as not to let his giggles be heard. Jin sighed and mentally prepared himself for the migraine that was sure to come soon. Namjoon just grinned and watched the drama that was unfolding before him in a very pleased manner.

 

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU EVEN DOING TO GET ARRESTED IN THE FIRST PLACE?” Jinyoung yelled.

 

“WE WANTED TO HAVE A GOOSE SHOPPING CART RACE IS THAT SO WRONG?”

 

“WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?”

 

“IT MEANS I HAVE A LIFE OKAY!”

 

“NO IT MEANS YOU’RE GONNA GET YOUR ASS BEAT! COME HERE FUCKER!” Jinyoung reached into the backseat to grab Jackson’s hair. Jackson narrowly dodged the attack by opening the door of the truck and bolting.

 

Silence and shock once again enveloped the vehicle.

 

“So… We still going to Urban Air..?” Mark asked quietly.

 

___________________

 

**11:26 p.m.**

**_jFLAWLESSSS69, Markiepooh_ **

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : uhh

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : markie

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : baby

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : can u let me in??

 

 _Markiepooh_ : : Lol

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Nah i dont have a death wish

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : but dont u love me

 

 _Markiepooh_ : I do

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : then cant u just ‘trip’ and unlock the window so i can climb in

 

 _Markiepooh_ : I dont know

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Jinyoungie was pretty clear on banning the three of you from the house

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : but its just me

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : bam and gyeom crashed at the bts dorm

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Then why cant you do the same

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : cuz i love u ❤

 

 _Markiepooh_ : …

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : and i bought us some pizza 2 share

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Oh no !

 

 _Markiepooh_ : It seems that i have tripped !

 

 _Markiepooh_ : And accidentally unlocked the third window from the left on the second floor !

 

 _Markiepooh_ : Whatever shall i do ?

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : babe i love u so much right now

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : im gonna cuddle u so hard

 

 _jFLAWLESSSS69_ : as soon as i figure out how 2 climb up a drain pipe w/o dropping pizza

  
_Markiepooh_ : ❤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Case Of Confusion:  
> jFLAWLESSSS69 is Jackson  
> Markipooh is Mark  
> lil'sunshine is Youngjae  
> BaMiSaBiGbOy is Bambam  
> DancginQueen is Yugyeom  
> NotYourFather™ is Jaebum  
> GangsterMom™ is Jinyoung  
> goldenboiiiii is Jungkook  
> heLLoseawEED is Taehyung  
> bringmesleep™ is Yoongi  
> chimchibi is Jimin  
> whatisL.I.F.E is Namjoon  
> FoodIsLife is Jin  
> Not.A.Horse is Hoseok


	8. Ur all going 2 die 2night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I sorta forgot to update yesterday.... sorry....  
> But anyway, hopefully this fic won't have more than just like 4 or 5 more chapters 'cause I have great plans for a super cute Markson fic but I promised my bff I'd finish this first, so look forward to the end of this trainwreck™ and the beginning of my undying love of fluffy sassy Markson

**11:53 a.m.**

**_Ur all going 2 die 2night_ **

 

**_FoodIsLife_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_Who tf used all the damn soy sauce_ **

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : o

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : twas me

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : Tf is ur prob bro?

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : Y would u use ALL the soy sauce

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : Then put ThE EmpTY bOTtlE

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : BacK iN tHE CaBiNEt

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : cuz the trashcan was 2 far away

 

_ whatisL.I.F.E _ :  Why are you typing like that?

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : CAuSe i CAn bAck oFF nAMjOoN

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : that gives me a headache

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : ….

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : ur username is literally typed the same way tho?

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : …..

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : no

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : tae only capitalized the letters that doubled up

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : …..

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : shit u right

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : how have i nvr noticed that????

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : hell if i know

 

_ chimchibi _ : y did u need soy sauce?

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : Cuz im korean

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : Soy sauce is essential to my diet

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : you make it sound like you just chug straight soy sauce

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : Is THaT A prObLEM yOONgI

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : actually

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : yeah

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : thats kinda gross

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : yup

 

_ chimchibi _ : hyung…

 

_ chimchibi _ : do u really drink soy sauce??????????

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : No…

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : r u sure

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : Yes…

 

___________________

 

**9:43 p.m.**

**_GangsterMom™, NotYourFather™_ **

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Hey Hyung

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I love it when you call me that babe ❤

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : I know ;)

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Anyway I’m making a cake for our anniversary 

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : …….

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Did you fucking forget

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : No…

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Im Jaebum I swear to God if you forgot our anniversary

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : I will not hesitate to murder you in your sleep

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : No I really didn’t forget babe I swear

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : ….

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I promise ❤

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Okay…

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I love you 

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ :  I love you too ❤

 

___________________

 

**11:53 p.m.**

**_jbs a fcukin snake_ **

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : ngcl xl gx, bxv ,xvsk nbz, cj ngcl .,m, vzlck,kx.t

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : v ’t mcm’ddn ycm hvjh ,vjhm yc/

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : sxsxsxsxsxsxs ct nxn;ssb gchg mu

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : ??????????

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : Bam are you ok?

 

_ DancginQueen _ : tramslatoon: this is how you tipe upsidedown

 

_ DancginQueen _ : trandslation: im tosally nor high rigth now

 

_ DancginQueen _ : translation: lolololololololololol jk im totally high rn

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : WTF WHY ARE YOU HIGH BAM

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : is the s or c silent in scent?

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : hc/ hvjh ’,. Ncb ,vjhm yc/

 

_ Markiepooh _ : A is for apples

 

_ Markiepooh _ : B is for bananas

 

_ Markiepooh _ : C is for carrots 

 

_ Markiepooh _ : D is for a word that i wont say

 

_ Markiepooh _ : E is for elephants because they’re really cute like really CUTE

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : what is going on???

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : h v; kc, hvjh

 

_ DancginQueen _ : trandkation: how high are you right now

 

_ DancginQueen _ : transslatiin: h ia for hogj

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : what???????????

 

_ Markiepooh _ : You missed f :(

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : y doesnt glue stick to th inside of th bttle?

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : Mark are you high too????

 

_ Markiepooh _ :  Y is for yes youngjae

 

_ Markiepooh _ : Lol theres two ys there

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : where the hell are JB and Jinyoung???/

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : why am i awake

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : if cinderellas shue fit pwrfectly then how come it fell off?

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : WHY DONT YUGYEOM AND JACKSON CARE THAT MARK AND BAM ARE HIGH

 

_ DancginQueen _ : lololololololololol

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : sxsxsxsxsxsxsxsxsxsxsxsxs 

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : ivp .m,m ngmb,m nxx

 

_ DancginQueen _ : trsnaslatuon: lololololololololololololololololol

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : if u were born deaf whay language would u think in?

 

_ DancginQueen _ : tanslation: ciz thwyr high too

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : if ur clean gettin out of the shower how doed ur towle get dirty?

 

_ DancginQueen _ : bammie can u sto[ tuing unside doewm its hatd 2 translate 

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : :(

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : ok

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : why are you all high?????????????????

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : why is this happening to me???????????

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : how did the guys who made the 1st clok kno what time it was?

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : SERIOUSLY WHY IS EVERYONE HIGH

 

_ Markiepooh _ : B is for bam is the reason were all baked

 

_ Markiepooh _ : Hey theres two bs there too lol

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : BAM WHAT DID YOU DO

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : jy was makin a cake so i slipped i some extra herbs n spices lol

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : and does jinyoung know?????????

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : nope lololol

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : wich came orange came 1st the color or the friut?

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : did everyone else know when they ate the cake?????

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : nope lololol

 

_ Markiepooh _ : J is for jacks is soooooo hot like really HOT

 

_ Markiepooh _ : H is for he was hungry

 

_ Markiepooh _ : C is for the cake that we consumed 

 

_ Markiepooh _ : lol i had to think about that one a bit

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : ok…

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : i think i get it but what about gyeom?

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : y do we drive in parkways and park in driveways?

 

_ DancginQueen _ : oh i git healous cuz theu all had cake w/p me

 

_ DancginQueen _ : so i ate some 2

 

_ DancginQueen _ : bam ddmt tell me what was im ot :(

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : ok but literally why did you spike the cake Bam??????

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : cuz ive always wnated to kno wwhat it was like 2 bw high

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : when u lose a thought where does it go?

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : ……

 

**_lil’sunshine_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_JJP pls wake up im scared ;;;;;_ **

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : srsly i gotta know

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : …….

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : any1?

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : markie???

 

_ Markiepooh _ : ❤ is for how much i love jacks even though hes real dumb

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : awe

  
_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : i love u 2 markiepooh ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Case Of Confusion:  
> jFLAWLESSSS69 is Jackson  
> Markipooh is Mark  
> lil'sunshine is Youngjae  
> BaMiSaBiGbOy is Bambam  
> DancginQueen is Yugyeom  
> NotYourFather™ is Jaebum  
> GangsterMom™ is Jinyoung  
> goldenboiiiii is Jungkook  
> heLLoseawEED is Taehyung  
> bringmesleep™ is Yoongi  
> chimchibi is Jimin  
> whatisL.I.F.E is Namjoon  
> FoodIsLife is Jin  
> Not.A.Horse is Hoseok


	9. JJP pls wake up im scared ;;;;;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I forgot to give a special thanks to my BFF for helping me formulate some key 'plot' elements of last chapter, this chapter and probably the next chapter or two. She's the greatest person ever and I probably would have forgotten this existed long ago if it weren't for her

**12:17 a.m.**

**_JJP pls wake up im scared ;;;;;_ **

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : What

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : The

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Fuck

 

 _BaMiSaBiGbOy_ : shit

 

___________________

 

**1:49 a.m.**

**_Who tf used all the damn soy sauce_ **

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : Jackson just called me

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : Woke me up

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ :  To ask me

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : ‘Do we all see the same colors? Like what if purple to me is green to someone else, but like we never knew cause we both call it purple but to them it looks green but they still call it purple ‘cause they were taught that way you know? Why do we call colors what we do? Why can’t pink be like frebble or some shit? Who decided to call pink pink? Who gave them the authority to name something for everyone? What kind of major douche would do something like that?’

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : Then Mark took the phone from Jackson and said

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : ‘K is for we got kicked out’

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : Then Yugyeom had the phone and he said

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : ‘Has it been five hours or five minutes bro? I really can’t tel- Oh shit! Lost my balance for a sec there the world was moving too fast for my legs to keep up.’

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : Then there was Bambam….

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : ‘Dude we’re coming over, what you got in the fridge?’

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Wtf

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : R they high????

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : Yeah

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : I’d assume so

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Where tf did they get the pot???

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : ….

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Hoseok what the actual fuck

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : I SWEAR ITS NOT MY FAULT

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : IM PRETTY SURE BAM STOLE IT FROM MY BAG

 

 **_FoodIsLife_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_Ur grounded_ **

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : WHAT??

 

 _Not.A.Horse_ : AGAIN???

 

___________________

 

Taehyung woke up to the sound of knocking on the front door as he and Jungkook had fallen asleep cuddled on the couch watching a movie. He groggily peeled himself away from the younger boy and stumbled his way to the door. Upon opening the door, he was accidentally smacked in the face by Yugyeom, who had been knocking. “Ow! What the hell?” He held his nose, which he was now sure was bleeding.

 

“Oops sorry bro.” Yugyeom giggled and pushed his way inside the dorm, Bambam, Mark and Jackson followed close behind. Bambam made a beeline for the kitchen, intending to raid the cabinets and fridge. Jackson and Mark were having some sort of petty poke war while bickering and giggling at each other. Yugyeom went to the bathroom as he proclaimed : “I’ve got to take a giant shit.”

 

This noise woke up Jungkook, who immediately jumped into a karate stance on the couch only to slip and fall flat on his ass. Mark and Jackson began to tease the poor boy for thinking he could take them, no matter how baked they were. Poor Tae was left to defend his leftovers from Bam’s grubby hands.

 

“Dude, no that’s mine!” Tae shrieked as he launched himself toward the Thai boy who was trying to make a strawberry ice cream and steak sundae with spicy mayo and chopped cucumber as toppings. It was too late though. Bambam had already started devouring the odd concoction. “My steak…” Taehyung pouted as Bambam shoved more ice cream and cucumbers in his mouth.

 

“Bro, I forgot how good cucumbers are. Like damn. How can Youngjae hate them so much?” Bambam set aside his half eaten sundae and opened the spice cabinet. “Got any hot sauce?”

 

Mark and Jackson had evolved from petty verbal teasing to touching and physically picking on poor Jungkook. They weren’t being violent as they were too giggly to be angry, but they kept petting Kookie as though he were a small dog or kitten that needed their love and affection.

 

Namjoon and Jin tiredly trudged into the kitchen, arms crossed, visibly agitated. “How are they already here?” Jin sighed.

 

“I don’t-” Namjoon’s sentence was halted by his yawn, “-know.” He finished and cleared his throat. “How do you think we should deal with this?” He asked, nudging a tired Jin with his elbow.

 

“Wait, you knew they were coming?” Kookie pushed Jackson’s hand away from his head, making the Hong Kong native pout at his rejection.

 

“Unfortunately.”Jin answered. The man then turned back to Namjoon thought fully. “I think we should just get them to sleep somehow.”

 

“Right then.” Jin and Namjoon enlisted Taehyung and Jungkook to help them get the four boys together and hold them down long enough to sleep. Jin managed to get Mark seated on the couch with a stuffed bear and a blanket in record time. Taehyung pried the box of cookies from Bam’s grip and threw them on the counter so he could hold the Thai boy’s arms down and drag him to the couch. Jungkook pulled Yugyeom out of the bathroom by coaxing him with the cookies that his boyfriend had confiscated from Bambam only moments prior. Namjoon, however, was having great difficulties getting Jackson to sit still.“Why couldn’t Jaebum just put them in a chokehold till they knocked out?” Namjoon queried as he tried to force his best friend to sit down next to Mark. It wasn’t until Mark nodded off, his head falling to rest on Jackson’s shoulder, just before Jackson could get back up to investigate the widow for the eighth time, that Jackson settled down enough to stay in one place.

 

Namjoon, Jin, Jungkook and Taehyung waited till all four boys had their eyes closed and were sound asleep before heading to their own rooms to sleep, exhausted from having to babysit four grown men.

 

“Namjoon…” Jin started as he climbed into bed.

 

“Yes, dear?”

 

“Make sure you confiscate all of Hoseok’s Mariah Carey CDs as punishment.”

 

“Of course.”

 

___________________

 

**9:48 a.m.**

**_NotYourFather™_ ** _added_ **_GangsterMom™_ ** _to the chat_

 **_NotYourFather™_ ** _added_ **_whatisL.I.F.E_ ** _to the chat_

 **_NotYourFather™_ ** _added_ **_FoodIsLife_ ** _to the chat_

 **_GangsterMom™_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_JJParents & NamJin_ **

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : We have a favor to ask you guys

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Well…

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Aside from taking care of the four idiots last night

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Thank you for that by the way

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : What is it…

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : All seven of us need to crash at your dorm for a few weeks….

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Y did something bad happen????

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Yeah…

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Sort of…

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Well you see…

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : Spit it out already

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : When they got high last night, we kicked them out

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : But we didn’t know they were trying to cook macaroni

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Omg did the dorm catch fire???????

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Is every1 ok???????

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : No no nothing like that

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : We’re all fine thanks

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : It’s just that there was a gas leak so the foreman told us we all have to evacuate and live somewhere else for a few days

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : At least no one was hurt

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : I know it’s a lot to ask, but can we crash with you guys for the next few days??

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : I dont c y not

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : It’ll be a little cramped and a lot louder, but that not anything we aren’t already used to

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Exactly

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Thank you both so much

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Seriously we owe you guys big time

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Np

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : What time will the 3 of u get here then

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Probably in about an hour or so

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : Aight

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Oh right

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : I should probably warn you

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : Warn us????

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Oh no…

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : About what exactly????

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Jinyoung and I have dinner reservations for tonight, so we won’t be there for a lot of today to help keep the kids in line…

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : I’m sorry to put this on you guys, but I’ve had this planned for months

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Awe

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : You really didn’t forget hyung ❤

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : Of course not babe ❤

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : No problem

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : So we just have 2 take care of 5 more kids than usual 4 1 night

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : How hard can it b?

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : …..

 

 _NotYourFather™_ : I’ll leave this to you babe

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Right

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : What?

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Youngjae’s sweet but a bit clingy so make sure to give him plenty of attention at all times and if he wakes up in the middle of the night, you have to rub his back and sing for him so he can go back to sleep, he’ll tell you what song he wants to hear so don’t worry about that

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Thats it?

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Np

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Bambam is a problem child, make sure he has constant supervision or else shit will hit the fan (ie. last night) if he runs off with Yugyeom alone, make sure they aren’t doing anything inappropriate and if he gets in a fight with Jackson force Mark to step in and calm Jackson down, without Jaebum there to keep things from escalating physically, that’s the only thing that will work

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : ...

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Yugyeom is a pest, if he keeps bothering Youngjae and Youngjae looks like he’s going to cry, turn on some music Gyeomie can dance to but AVOID CHRIS BROWN AT ALL COSTS, he likes to bother Jackson too, and if looks like that’s getting out of hand, just have Mark step in, everything should work out fine

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Pls dont tell me theres more

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Jackson shouldn’t be too much of a problem, just ignore him if he gets too talkative, but if he gets really worked up or angry, take him to the gym so he can sweat out his feelings, it shouldn’t be too much of an issue after that, but if he wants to cuddle or something just throw Mark at him

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Anymore????

 

 _GangsterMom™_ : Mark is an angel, but if Jackson looks like he’s annoying him too much, just have Youngjae give him Coco for a bit, it should be fine then, but don’t let Mark have Coco for too long cause then Jackson will get jealous and nothing can fix that and I mean NOTHING, oh and if you end up having to force Mark to calm Jackson down cause of a fight with Bam or Gyeom, I really mean FORCE him, he’ll want to sit back and laugh while shit hits the fan

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : Ok….

 

 _FoodIsLife_ : This may b harder than i thought….

 

 _whatisL.I.F.E_ : No shit

  
_NotYourFather™_ : Welcome to my world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Case Of Confusion:  
> jFLAWLESSSS69 is Jackson  
> Markipooh is Mark  
> lil'sunshine is Youngjae  
> BaMiSaBiGbOy is Bambam  
> DancginQueen is Yugyeom  
> NotYourFather™ is Jaebum  
> GangsterMom™ is Jinyoung  
> goldenboiiiii is Jungkook  
> heLLoseawEED is Taehyung  
> bringmesleep™ is Yoongi  
> chimchibi is Jimin  
> whatisL.I.F.E is Namjoon  
> FoodIsLife is Jin  
> Not.A.Horse is Hoseok


	10. i regret this already

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to make this the last chapter, but I’m not opposed to doing a sequel if that’s what you guys want. 
> 
> Mini challenge: every time a name changes, shout the new name out loud no matter where you are

**10:39 a.m.**

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_Markiepooh_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_GangsterMom™_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_NotYourFather™_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_DancginQueen_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_whatisL.I.F.E_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_Not.A.Horse_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_FoodIsLife_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_chimchibi_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_bringmesleep™_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_heLLoseawEEd_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ added  _ **_lil’sunshine_ ** _ to the chat _

**_jFLAWLESSSS69_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_i regret this already_ **

 

_ whatisL.I.F.E _ :  What the hell Jackson

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : why am i here

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Fuck

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I knew this would happen 

 

_ Not.A.Horse _ : knew wht wld hppn??

 

_ FoodIsLife _ : Jung hoesock ur still grounded

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : lolololololol

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : ‘hoesock’

 

_ DancginQueen _ : LMFAO BRO

 

**_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _ changed  _ **_Not.A.Horse_ ** _ to  _ **_HOEsock_ **

 

_ HOEsock _ : idk if i apreic8 this

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Appreci8*

 

_ HOEsock _ : wtf

 

_ HOEsock _ : who crrcts txt tlk???

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : I do Hoe

 

_ Markiepooh _ : O o f

 

_ Markiepooh _ : Mom b u r n

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : mark stp makin refernces 2 shitty americn shows

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : American*

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : no 1 gets them

 

_ Markiepooh _ : That 70s show is amazing

 

_ Markiepooh _ : So fuck you

 

_ DancginQueen _ : but thats ur job hyung

 

_ chimchibi _ : holy shit

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : this is y ur my bf

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : exCUsE Me BiTCh

 

_ DancginQueen _ : bam

 

_ DancginQueen _ : calm down

 

_ DancginQueen _ : bf = best friend

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : o

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : ok

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : Jackson what have you done

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : something terrible

 

_ whatisL.I.F.E _ : That may be the longest thing you’ve ever typed with no mistakes

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : It is

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : fukc u both

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : And he’s back

 

_ whatisL.I.F.E _ : Well it was nice while it lasted… 

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Well since everyones here might as well make the most of it

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Jinyoung and I will be gone from 4 till whenever the hell we get back

 

_ chimchibi _ : where u goin hyung?

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : its their anniversary ❤

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : thats actually rlly qt

 

_ chimchibi _ : awwweee ❤❤❤❤❤

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Anyway

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : If I hear from Jin or Namjoon at all about any of you four

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I will have your asses when I get back

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : I love it when you take command like that hyung ❤

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : wait 4??

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : theres 5 of us tho?????

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Youngjae’s an angel

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : He would never cause problems like you shitheads

 

_ Markiepooh _ : Wtf??

 

_ Markiepooh _ : When have i ever caused a problem though???

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : There was that time you hid one of Bam’s Armani dress shoes on top of the fridge and filmed his reaction as he tried to find it

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : ooh

 

_ heLLoseawEEd _ : can u send me the vid bro

 

_ Markiepooh _ : Yeah sure no problem

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : And the time you taped pictures of Nicholas Cage literally everywhere in the house

 

_ Markiepooh _ : That was two years ago come on

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : I literally found one taped to the inside of my shoe this morning

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : lol

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : There was also the time you swapped out all my Harry Potter movies with Chicken Soup For the Soul tapes

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Worst day of my life by the way

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : You also wrapped ALL of Yugyeom and Bambam’s shit in wrapping paper for Christmas

 

_ HOEsock _ : w8

 

_ HOEsock _ : all of it?

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : yes

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : ALL of it

 

_ DancginQueen _ : it took the 2 of us 6 hrs to unwrap everythin

 

_ HOEsock _ : shit man

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : And you tied mine and Jaebum’s door to Youngjae’s and knocked on our doors so we could pull each other’s doors closed

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : yeah that wasnt nice hyung :(

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : You also filled my and JB’s entire room with dead leaves in the middle of summer

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Yeah how did you get all those leaves??

 

_ Markiepooh _ : I have my resources

 

_ goldenboiiiii _ : thats hella sus bro

 

_ BaMiSaBiGbOy _ : sHAdY

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : You also moved all of Jackson’s shit from his room to the backyard when he went to visit his parents in Hong Kong

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : it was rainin the day i got bck ;;;;;

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Shall I go on?

 

_ Markiepooh _ : Nah i think i get the point

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Good

 

___________________

 

**6:48 p.m.**

**_i regret this already_ **

 

_ HOEsock _ : if i get a new name then evry1 shld get a new name 

 

**_HOEsock_ ** _ changed  _ **_FoodIsLife_ ** _ to  _ **_suckGIN_ **

 

_ DancginQueen _ : thts fair

 

_ DancginQueen _ : i spprt th mvmnt

 

_ HOEsock _ : thx 4 ur spprt

 

**_DancginQueen_ ** _ changed  _ **_BaMiSaBiGbOy_ ** _ to  _ **_SaUsAgE_ **

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : …

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : fuk u man

 

**_SaUsAgE_ ** _ changed  _ **_DancginQueen_ ** _ to  _ **_truSNACC_ **

 

_ truSNACC _ : im actually ok w/ this name

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : damn rihgt u r

 

_ suckGIN _ : Y am i suck gin??

 

_ HOEsock _ : u want smthin else

 

_ suckGIN _ : Yes

 

_ suckGIN _ : Anything else

 

**_HOEsock_ ** _ changed  _ **_suckGIN_ ** _ to  _ **_succGIN_ **

 

_ succGIN _ : that is litrlly worse than b4

 

_ HOEsock _ : dont lik it

 

_ HOEsock _ : u can retalli8 on sm1 else

 

_ succGIN _ : U kno wht

 

_ succGIN _ : Fine

 

**_succGIN_ ** _ changed  _ **_whatisL.I.F.E_ ** _ to  _ **_TripleD_ **

 

_ HOEsock _ : ewww

 

_ HOEsock _ : wtf y

 

_ TripleD _ : ….

 

_ TripleD _ : I don’t think this was a good idea

 

_ succGIN _ : Hold ur horses hoesock

 

_ succGIN _ : It means deepdish dimple

 

_ HOEsock _ : THEN PUT THAT WTF

 

_ TripleD _ : Please…

 

_ succGIN _ : Fine

 

**_succGIN_ ** _ changed  _ **_TripleD_ ** _ to  _ **_DeepdishDimple_ **

 

_ succGIN _ : Happy now?

 

_ DeepdishDimple _ : Yes thank you baby

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : now its ur turn

 

_ DeepdishDimple _ : My turn?

 

_ DeepdishDimple _ : For what?

 

_ truSNACC _ : u gotta change sm1s chat name

 

_ HOEsock _ : spprt th mvmnt bro

 

_ DeepdishDimple _ : Okay?

 

**_DeepdishDimple_ ** _ changed  _ **_heLLoseawEEd_ ** _ to  _ **_ALIEN8edSoCiEtY_ **

 

_ DeepdishDimple _ : Is that good enough?

 

_ ALIEN8edSoCiEtY _ : woah

 

_ ALIEN8edSoCiEtY _ : i like it :)

 

**_ALIEN8edSoCiEtY_ ** _ changed  _ **_goldenboiiiii_ ** _ to  _ **_playBOIbunny™_ **

 

_ playBOIbunny™ _ : does this mean i hve to change sm1s name 2

 

_ HOEsock _ : yes

 

_ truSNACC _ : yep

 

_ playBOIbunny™ _ : aight

 

**_playBOIbunny™_ ** _ changed  _ **_chimchibi_ ** _ to  _ **_Dance.cASSanova_ **

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : i appreciate that

 

_ Dance.cASSanova _ : hyung…

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : ;)

 

_ HOEsock _ : gross

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : ew

 

_ Dance.cASSanova _ : ok umm

 

_ Dance.cASSanova _ : youngjae hyung?

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : yeah?

 

_ Dance.cASSanova _ : can i change your name?

 

_ lil’sunshine _ : sure :)

 

**_Dance.cASSanova_ ** _ changed  _ **_lil’sunshine_ ** _ to  _ **_HolyCocoBean™_ **

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : wtf

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : how come his name gets 2 sty qt???

 

_ Markiepooh _ : cause hes cute

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : and im not????

 

_ Markiepooh _ : yes

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : show me th proof

 

_ Markiepooh _ : exhibit a

 

_ Markiepooh _ : 

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : ok and?

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : exibt b??

 

_ Markiepooh _ : [](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjgyf-C1JzaAhUJd6wKHYnxDb0QjRx6BAgAEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fahgawings.com%2F180301-cp-brand-releases-cf-sausages-bambam%2F&psig=AOvVaw3TNgzZ3v-JUz0lZLrVScZ_&ust=1522795116558387)

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : fuck u

 

_ HOEsock _ : youngjae u gotta change a name now 2

 

_ HolyCocoBean™ _ : ok but who?

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : jb

 

_ HolyCocoBean™ _ : but i dont wanna interrupt his date :(

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Seriously?

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Our date’s been mostly us talking shit about you assholes for doing this shit on the group chat

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Did you just call my angel an asshole?

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : Sorry, I don’t mean you Youngjae

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Good

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : Change his name sweetie

 

_ HolyCocoBean™ _ : ok :)

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : wait

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : y r u tlkin 2 each other on the gc if ur 2gthr?

 

_ GangsterMom™ _ : He got bit trying to pet a stray cat so we had to go to an emergency clinic so he could get a rabies shot

 

_ NotYourFather™ _ : The doctor said Jinyoung couldn’t stay with me

 

**_HolyCocoBean™_ ** _ changed  _ **_NotYourFather™_ ** _ to  _ **_SoulMullet™_ **

 

_ SoulMullet™ _ : ….

 

_ HOEsock _ : BRO U HAVE A MULLET

 

_ SoulMullet™ _ : No comment

 

_ ALIEN8edSoCiEtY _ : woah

 

_ ALIEN8edSoCiEtY _ : thats so cool hyung

 

_ SoulMullet™ _ : Thank you

 

_ ALIEN8edSoCiEtY _ : i want a mullet

 

_ playBOIbunny™ _ : tae 

 

_ playBOIbunny™ _ : baby

 

_ playBOIbunny™ _ : pls no

 

**_SoulMullet™_ ** _ changed  _ **_GangsterMom™_ ** _ to  _ **_SaltyPeach™_ **

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : Why am I salty peach?

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : Well, I get the salt part but… peach?

 

_ SoulMullet™ _ : Babe…

 

_ SoulMullet™ _ : Have you seen your ass?

 

_ HOEsock _ : wOAH

 

_ jFLAWLESSSS69 _ : EWWWWWWWWWW

 

_ succGIN _ : ReD cArD

 

_ succGIN _ : fLaG oN tHe PlAy

 

_ succGIN _ : DiSqUaLiFiEd

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : ….

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : how do u kno so many sprt terms hyung

 

_ succGIN _ : ???

 

_ succGIN _ : its only 3

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : yeah

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : thats like 10 more terms than i xpected u 2 kno

 

_ DeepdishDimple _ : How can someone know negative seven terms?

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : Don’t question his logic Namjoon

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : You’ll only lose brain cells in the process

 

_ HOEsock _ : lolololol

 

_ HOEsock _ : i can attest 2 tht

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : How come you know and can spell a word like ‘attest’ but refuse to type out actual words?

 

_ HOEsock _ : i do wat i wnt bich

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : …….

 

_ HOEsock _ : anyway

 

_ HOEsock _ : its ur turn

 

_ HOEsock _ : chng a name

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : Fuckin fine

 

**_SaltyPeach™_ ** _ changed  _ **_Markiepooh_ ** _ to  _ **_Jacks.BITCH_ **

 

_ Jacks.BITCH _ : i resent everything about this

 

_ Jacks.BITCH _ : but i can work with it

 

**_Jacks.BITCH_ ** _ changed  _ **_jFLAWLESSSSS69_ ** _ to  _ **_Markshoe_ **

 

_ HOEsock _ : mark shoe?????????

 

_ HOEsock _ : i dont get it?????

 

**_Jacks.BITCH_ ** _ changed  _ **_Markshoe_ ** _ to  _ **_Marks.HOE_ **

 

_ HOEsock _ : ooooooohhh

 

_ HOEsock _ : that makes SO much mor snse

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : i hate all of u

 

_ HOEsock _ : dude

 

_ HOEsock _ : u gotta change yoongis name

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : WTF

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : Y WAS THAT DEATH SENTENCE PAWNED OFF ON ME

 

_ HOEsock _ : i belive in u bro

 

_ HOEsock _ : fighting

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : y cant jimin do it instead??

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : hes so whipped for him he like actually cant get mad at him

 

_ Dance.cASSanova _ : while that may be true

 

_ Dance.cASSanova _ : i resent that statement

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : so do i

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : and if you change my name 

 

_ bringmesleep™ _ : youll regret it

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : …….

 

_ HOEsock _ : just hide

 

_ HOEsock _ : then do it

 

_ HOEsock _ : hes in the studio

 

_ HOEsock _ : i can hold him back dont worry

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : if the only thing standing between me and himis u

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : then im signing my will now

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : dad, u cna have my leather jackets

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : Can*

 

_ SoulMullet™ _ : Thanks Jacks that means a lot

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : mom, u can have all the books i never read

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : They’re all in my room already 

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : youngjae, u can have my stuffed animals

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : i kno u liked them

 

_ HolyCocoBean™ _ : awe

 

_ HolyCocoBean™ _ : thanks hyung ❤

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : gyeom, u can have my belts and snapbacks

 

_ truSNACC _ : ur damn right those r mine now

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : …

 

_ truSNACC _ : i mean thanks bro

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : mark, my love

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : u get everything else

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : cherish all the memories we shared for as long as u can ❤

 

_ Jacks.BITCH _ : aight

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : wat about me tho??

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : u get nothing u snake

 

_ HOEsock _ : sAVAGE BRO

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : ok

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : remember me when im gone

 

_ playBOIbunny™ _ : y r u so xtra

 

**_Marks.HOE_ ** _ changed  _ **_bringmesleep™_ ** _ to  _ **_GeniusLab™_ **

 

_ HOEsock _ : ….

 

_ HOEsock _ : its been 10 minutes

 

_ HOEsock _ : y is it so quiet

 

_ GeniusLab™ _ : cause i like this name

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : does this mean i can come off the roof now?

 

_ HOEsock _ : …..

 

_ GeniusLab™ _ : ….

 

_ Jacks.BITCH _ : …

 

_ playBOIbunny™ _ : …………..

 

_ SaUsAgE _ : lololololololololololololololol

 

_ truSNACC _ : lmaoooooo

 

_ HolyCocoBean™ _ : ………

 

_ DeepdishDimple _ : Why the fuck are you on the roof?

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : I THOUGHT I WAS GOING 2 DIE OK

 

_ Dance.cASSanova _ : isnt being on the roof a bigger danger than yoongi tho?

 

_ ALIEN8edSoCiEtY _ : no :(

 

_ HOEsock _ : defin8ly not

 

_ playBOIbunny™ _ : i dont think so

 

_ succGIN _ : Jiminie

 

_ succGIN _ : Ur the only 1 that yoongi doesnt scare the shit out of

 

_ Dance.cASSanova _ : oh…

 

_ GeniusLab™ _ : I dont think thats such a bad thing….

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : Okay

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : Jaebum got his rabies shot, we’ll be back home soon

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : Don’t let Jackson break his leg trying to come off the roof

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : …..

 

_ SaltyPeach™ _ : Actually, you can let him fall, it’ll probably cost less to send him to the hospital now than bail him out of jail for some dumb shit later

 

_ Marks.HOE _ : #hurt

 

_ Jacks.BITCH _ : o o f

 

_ Jacks.BITCH _ : m o m b u r n

 

_ HolyCocoBean™ _ : why havent i moved out yet….?

  
_ GeniusLab™ _ : i ask myself the same question all the time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Case Of Confusion:  
> jFLAWLESSSS69, Markshoe, Marks.HOE is Jackson  
> Markipooh, Jacks.BITCH is Mark  
> lil'sunshine, HolyCocoBean™ is Youngjae  
> BaMiSaBiGbOy, SaUsAgE is Bambam  
> DancginQueen, truSNACC is Yugyeom  
> NotYourFather™, SoulMullet™ is Jaebum  
> GangsterMom™, SaltyPeach™ is Jinyoung  
> goldenboiiiii, playBOIbunny™ is Jungkook  
> heLLoseawEED, ALIEN8edSoCiEtY is Taehyung  
> bringmesleep™, GeniusLab™ is Yoongi  
> chimchibi, Dance.cASSanova is Jimin  
> whatisL.I.F.E, TripleD, DeepdishDimple is Namjoon  
> FoodIsLife, suckGIN, succGIN is Jin  
> Not.A.Horse, HOEsock is Hoseok


End file.
